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Moving on after Domestic Violence

  • Have you suffered abuse at the hands of a partner?
  • Has it left you feeling worthless and lost?
  • Do you want to start the road to recovery and build a better life for yourself?

Abusive Relationship

An abusive relationship lacks good qualities of reflection, belief, and respect. Instead, they involve commanding behavior, vocal abuse, physical violence, and disregard. These relationships are fuelled by insecurity, fear and a constant expectation of shortcomings. These listed reasons affect both the abuser and the victim as they share similar goals for whatever part they play in the relationship. This relationship seems to be a match made because of the compulsive need to control from the abuser and the compulsive need to be loved and given attention from the victim.

Signs of an abusive relationship

  • Little demands become big: The habit of making demands of you the victim begins craftily, each time there’s a more significant demand for a specific behavior or request and the victim obliges this strengthens the control.
  • Causes physical harm through any form such as smacking, man-handling, shoving, kicking and punching
  • Humiliates you any chance he/she gets and still tells you how much he loves you. This leads to self-doubt and thinking on the victim’s part that the abuser would change.
  • Always placing blames anywhere but on themselves and twisting the truth.
  • Exhibits signs of insecurity, jealousy, and anger towards the victim.


Forms of abusive relationships

  • Social abuse: This situation occurs in the sense of a leader feeling threatened by his subordinates over their social standing or skills or his ability not to deliver like the subordinates and has to reassure himself that he/she is the leader by exerting that control. This leads to excessive extreme control and inflated ego.
  • Physical abuse involves any guise of cruelty.
  • Sexual abuse: this is not molestation, but rather forcing someone into having a sexual experience they entirely rescinded.

How to recover from an abusive relationship

Abusive relationships are cunning and not straightforward that’s why we often don’t see the signs of abuse in our relationships. Relationships are a way of fulfilling our needs, and as often as they are met, we bother not with how they’re being met.

However, here’s the catch, whatever relationship we are in, boils down to us being responsible and accountable to ourselves. Rather than go on with the flow because you think our abuser would change or because our needs are met, why not make a case of examining the relationship and determining what you can take and what can’t be taken and if these set of rules are not followed, you quit peacefully and save face.

Recovering from an abusive relationship is time-consuming, but it’s worth the trial as victims of abuse are advised to take the steps towards recovery:

  • Go back to activities that you stopped performing.
  • Embodying their selves and loving their bodies more by eating well and participating in physical activities.
  • Spend time with people, friends, and family. Getting your abandoned social life on track brings support and a sense of worth.
  • Become organized with things around you because of the settled feeling it brings and talks to people about your experience.
  • Begin to express your sense of creativity once more and structure your time around yourselves.

To be able to achieve success in full recovery, survivors should cease all forms of communication with the controlling person and carry out the sets of instructions above.

Remember recovery is not a one day's job.

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