An abusive relationship lacks good qualities of
reflection, belief, and respect. Instead, they
involve commanding behavior, vocal abuse, physical
violence, and disregard. These relationships are
fuelled by insecurity, fear and a constant
expectation of shortcomings. These listed reasons
affect both the abuser and the victim as they share
similar goals for whatever part they play in the
relationship. This relationship seems to be a match
made because of the compulsive need to control from
the abuser and the compulsive need to be loved and
given attention from the victim.
Signs of an abusive relationship
- Little demands become big: The habit of
making demands of you the victim begins
craftily, each time there’s a more
significant demand for a specific behavior
or request and the victim obliges this
strengthens the control.
- Causes physical harm through any form such
as smacking, man-handling, shoving, kicking
- Humiliates you any chance he/she gets and
still tells you how much he loves you. This
leads to self-doubt and thinking on the
victim’s part that the abuser would change.
- Always placing blames anywhere but on
themselves and twisting the truth.
- Exhibits signs of insecurity, jealousy, and
anger towards the victim.
Forms of abusive relationships
- Social abuse: This situation occurs in the
sense of a leader feeling threatened by his
subordinates over their social standing or
skills or his ability not to deliver like
the subordinates and has to reassure himself
that he/she is the leader by exerting that
control. This leads to excessive extreme
control and inflated ego.
- Physical abuse involves any guise of
- Sexual abuse: this is not molestation, but
rather forcing someone into having a sexual
experience they entirely rescinded.
How to recover from an abusive relationship
Abusive relationships are cunning and not
straightforward that’s why we often don’t see the
signs of abuse in our relationships. Relationships
are a way of fulfilling our needs, and as often as
they are met, we bother not with how they’re being
However, here’s the catch, whatever relationship we
are in, boils down to us being responsible and
accountable to ourselves. Rather than go on with the
flow because you think our abuser would change or
because our needs are met, why not make a case of
examining the relationship and determining what you
can take and what can’t be taken and if these set of
rules are not followed, you quit peacefully and save
Recovering from an abusive
relationship is time-consuming, but it’s
worth the trial as victims of abuse are advised to
take the steps towards recovery:
- Go back to activities that you stopped
- Embodying their selves and loving their
bodies more by eating well and participating
in physical activities.
- Spend time with people, friends, and family.
Getting your abandoned social life on track
brings support and a sense of worth.
- Become organized with things around you
because of the settled feeling it brings and
talks to people about your experience.
- Begin to express your sense of creativity
once more and structure your time around
To be able to achieve success in full recovery,
survivors should cease all forms of communication
with the controlling person and carry out the sets
of instructions above.
Remember recovery is
not a one day's job.